Living the American Green

Suck it, Exxon.  BP just straight up passed you.

Exxon Valdez: #2 in our hearts.

As the battle for who can us the phrase “Top Kill” the most times in a 24 hour news cycle rages on, Exxon has moved to #2 in the all time Oil Spill rankings.  That’s right: no matter what oil metric you are using, Deepwater has passed the Valdez for the worst oil spill in American history.

But with the plug procedure that is seemingly going well right now, our nation is gearing up to start the blame game.  Aw Shucks Jindal and James the Raging Cajun are pretty sure it’s that egghead Barry’s fault, either because he let it happen or because he’s not down there cleaning up oil right now.  Both takes seem fair to us.

On the other hand, the people we shouldn’t be blaming are the Government watchdog group Minerals Management Service.  Do you know how hard they work?  How much they do every day to steward the national mineral wealth this nation holds for our collective common good?  They should be allowed to take a few days off every so often, and blow of some steam, but because of those crazy government rules they end up having to blow off steam at work.    And by “blow off steam”, we mean “watch porn and do meth”, which basically just sounds like an average Wednesday afternoon board meeting to us.

Perhaps more damming then the porn and the drugs (more damning?  Really?  Did we just write that??) is this:

“Her biggest concern is the ease with which minerals agency employees move between industry and government, Kendall said. While no specifics were included in the report, “we discovered that the individuals involved in the fraternizing and gift exchange — both government and industry — have often known one another since childhood,” Kendall said.”

That don’t sound at all like the thing that Obamistan ran on the platform of not allowing at all to happen, does it?

As amazing as all that is this video might be even more amazing.  This is where BP really moves past Exxon in the hearts and minds of the public — in the disturbing and horrifying images that, before this week, the Valdez spill still had on lock.  Well, watch this and then tell us: Who’s Number One now, Bitches?

Who wrote this one?  TheAmericanGreen - The founding member of the American Green institute, and a New York based producer and writer hoping to make the jump from "freelancer" to "documentary producer". Read more from this author